Parenting Paranoia Club. Membership is Mandatory!

When my son Ryan was about 11 months old, I realized that all mothers have at least one closely-held and largely unshakable Parenting Paranoia. (And I say “at least” because my anecdotal evidence reveals that typically we have more than one.) I came to this realization several years ago as I was driving with a childhood friend and our two children to the Boston Children’s Museum. My friend Ruthie seemed somewhat distracted by the kids in the back. Both kids were securely strapped into their car seats, but she kept turning around to “check,” give her son’s car seat a little shake, and adjust the already secure straps. Earlier that day, she had installed her son’s car seat into my car. She hadn’t been totally happy with the installation, even though to my eye and standards, it was fine. I didn’t think much more about it.

Later, after we were done with the chaos of the museum, and were sitting down to grab a snack, she watched me carefully break apart somewhat soggy french fries and place them in front of Ryan to eat. She looked at me quizzically and said “are you afraid of him choking?” Yes, I admitted somewhat sheepishly. I’d had this fear ever since he started eating solid foods at around 6 months. “The mandible is pretty hard,” she said. “They do a good job of mashing up food if kids don’t have all their teeth in yet.” I knew she was right, but my fear, though not unreasonable, was somewhat paranoid—not unlike her car seat “issue.” She later admitted to me that she fears car seat failure more than most people might feel is healthy.

But paranoia aside, I later was glad to have a fixation on choking—or rather on preventing choking. Several months after the Children’s Museum outing, when Ryan was now 18 months old, I had neglected to cut up all of his grapes, and sure enough, my boy got one stuck in his windpipe. Luckily I knew how to dislodge the grape, and it popped right out. The reason I knew how to help him was because I’d paid especially close attention to the instructions during a mini CPR course I’d taken a few months earlier. Paranoia saves the day!

In all seriousness, though, food isn’t the only choking danger for children.

Toys are labeled “not for children under three” for a reason
We often see age recommendations on the boxes or directions for children's toys. Why are they there? Retailers and manufacturers have good reason to make these recommendations. One obvious reason is to let you know if a toy is developmentally appropriate for your child. He or she will get the most enjoyment out of a product that is specifically made for his or her developmental range. The other reason toys have recommended ages is simply to keep your child safe. Many wonderful toys on the market are perfectly safe for your 10 year old, but not for a child under three. That is because children under the age of three typically explore objects not only with their eyes and hands, but also with their mouths. This type of behavior is developmentally appropriate and not easily discouraged as most parents already understand. In order to keep children safe, toys that contain small parts are labeled "Age: 3+" because they may contain small parts that could get stuck in the narrow throat of a young child and pose a choking hazard. As a general rule, if a toy or toy part can fit in or pass through a toilet paper tube, it is a choking hazard and should be put away until your child has left his or her oral phase behind. If you have older children in the house, toys with small parts should be played with out of the reach of younger siblings or playmates. It is a good idea for parents to look beyond the labeled information, however, and examine new toys for their potential as a choking hazard. And that means not just small parts, but small parts that might break up during the course of play.